Rebuilding your Relationship after Cheating

couple holding hands in therapy image

A relationship cannot exist without trust, and nothing breaks trust faster than cheating. When trust is violated and a person cheats in a relationship, it shatters it, turning it into something much different then it was before. Although you may not be able to see a future, it is possible for a couple to overcome cheating, should both parties wish to do so. That being said, it is not that easy to repair a relationship. It talks a lot of mental, emotional, and psychological work to repair your relationship.

Re-establishing and maintaining trust in a relationship after infidelity has occurred is one of the hardest hurdles to overcome, and it is the first one. When a relationship is built on trust and then that trust is taken away many find it the most difficult to regain that. Along with trust, the ability to forgive is in your favor when working to rebuild your relationship after cheating. Forgiving your partner after doing something such as cheating is an important step. If you plan on working on your relationship and making it strong again and you continue to hold a grudge or doubt, you will be unable to get the results you want. At the same time however, the person who has cheated must strive to remain honest, and must be willing to work hard to prove that they are worthy of this trust again. This is extremely hard work, and it must be understood that forgiveness does not come easy in these situations. Stay honest, communicate, and keep your promises. Only after this, time, and work can you expect to be forgiven.

When working to overcome infidelity it is important to identify the problem, and then work to resolve it. When it comes to identifying the issue, you and your partner must identify the reason why your relationship led to cheating. This step takes honesty, it is hard to admit what went wrong in your relationship which led to this. Some examples include loss of interest, emotional abandonment, attraction to someone else, and even something that could have happened in the past. This is a very important step for moving forward and repairing your relationship, and may reveal harsh truths about one or both members of a partnership. It is of course only the beginning to find these issues, the next step is to resolve them.

Many couples strive to return back to “normal” after infidelity. This can be toxic to the relationship especially since somewhere in the normalcy of the relationship in the first place, the infidelity occurred. It is important for the couple to evaluate what their “normal” looked like and identify that it may have been a problem and work to resolve those issues. This is harder said than done but can be easier with the help of counseling or a workshop. Keep in mind that simply ignoring the infidelity, or pretending it didn’t happen is also a sure path to a doomed relationships as well. The repair of trust is something that requires hard work, and a true desire from both parties.

After a partner cheats it can be a very dark time, the feeling of being betrayed by the one you love is a heartbreaking feeling. You can make it through and repair your relationship, should that be something you desire. Many have said that they have come out of something like this with an even stronger relationship, fighting through a problem that many never recover from. You can use the tips listed above, though you may find yourself needing some outside help.

It is challenging repairing a relationship on your own, with the help of a couples counselor it will make repairing your relationship that much easier. It is okay to ask for help. Here at He Said She Said we have many different kinds of relationship counseling programs, from premarital counseling to marriage counseling, available to suit the needs of any couple. Give our programs a look, and give us a call at (520) 955-1876 for help rebuilding your relationship with the one you love.